The Lineman. “From a Daughter’s Perspective”

I can’t sugar-coat it today…

I can’t act like it’s no big deal…

I’m sad..

Tears have been flowing all morning. My dad, my sweet sweet daddy-o is retiring after 38 years of working his way up the Arkansas Entergy Ladder.

Because of unfortunate circumstances I couldn’t be there for this Milestone in my father’s life. My heart is broken. My biggest fan in life, MY DAD is having his big day, and I’m not there to praise the hell out of him, and man he deserves it. So I wrote a little poem along with a note that I sent as a recording to be played for him. I wanted to share it on my blog as well because he deserves every bit of recognition for his years of dedication. The poem is called “When a Storm Rolls In.”

There is something happening ,

16521fdb51a3ba0f4d8df6345032c960--storm-pictures-lightning

you can feel it in the wind.
Air is crisp,
clouds are thick,
a storms a rollin in’.
Get the phone call,
lace those boots,
start that big truck,
It’s time to move.
Through rain and thunder,
climbing up and down poles
Restoring electricity through the Valley, the goal.
He’d get phone calls from folks even through the night,
“Hey Mike you think you could come out, take a look at our lights?!?”
For nearly 40 years dad,
you served your community with pride. But it’s time to kick those boots off and push them to the side.
It’s time for you to leave that truck holding prayers from your morning drive.
It’s time for you to live your life, happy and cozy with your wife.

worn-but-durable-work-boots

My sweet dad,
you’ve worked so hard,
you’ve built such a life for yourself.
Your presence will be missed at that place,
with diligence,
you did your job well.
But it’s time for you to delight in this
New,
Lean into that eerie wind,
see the lightning, hear the thunder,
And dad, I hope you’ll bear a grin
For there will be no more lacing up those boots,
no anxiety won’t begin,
walk away from your phone,
embrace it from home,
when you feel that ole storm rollin in.

***

My sister called me after the party.. She said, “Steph, our dad had so much FUN!! There were so many laughs, so many jokes, so many hugs.” She told me years of friends showed up to share their memories of my dad. This is what had me tears— My sister said Our mom stood up and talked about her and dad and their story. From them being 15 to 57. From tiny rental, to a bigger house, to their dream home. From my dad starting climbing poles at Entergy when he was just 19, to being the damn District Coordinator of the entire Department! He worked and he worked and he worked. My sis said they continuously glanced at each other with warm smiles. She told me in that moment, as she watched our fathers face glowing with delight at our mother, she realized, That is what best friend looks like, That is what love looks like. And Well this is what 38 years in a night looks like.

There was one more thing I shared about my dad and his work ethic. I’d like to share that here too. It’s called

“From a Daughter’s Perspective.”

1am phone rings. I’m half awake to hear his voice, then hear him put on his boots…hear him in the kitchen..he sneaks in and kisses my forehead, then my sister, the big truck starts, and he’s gone.
I thought to myself as a little girl.. “Wow! How crazy, my dad works so hard, he doesn’t even need sleep!” Then I drift back to Dreamland..
I’d wake up, go to school, come home have a snack..finally he would pull in. I’d be waiting at the back door. “Dad, can we play basketball? Will you throw the softball with me?” And he always did. Year after year after year.
I got older, turned into a teen and then a young adult, still hearing the late night calls on stormy nights. Dad getting ready, hearing those boots, heading out before the waaay before sunrise.

Eventually I’d move away, and I’d bring my own children back and ya know what they heard? Late night calls, and those boots down the hall, headin’ out in the rain.
But not anymore!
He’s reached that finished line!! The ultimate goal of working, retirement!

Sometimes, those trucks would out of the drive at midnight, never sure when they would pull back up.. Would they be home in two hours to get a little more rest? Would they be starting their work day at 1am, to not get home until 5pm?..or Would they call and say, “I’ve gotta pack.. they’re sending us out of state for two weeks. There’s a big storm.” These guys are the hardest workers I know.

Dad, I love you so much. Enjoy the storms for the rest of your life.♥️

-This is what living looks like.

mydad

1584

img_1174

m2d

img_3236

daddy

Also While I cried today this little lady hung around…

LOVE YOU DAD!! ALSO, SIS-Why couldn’t I find a photo of you and dad!!

A Time-out with my favorite gal!

Hey friends!

Hope everyone has thoroughly enjoyed their weekend! Mine has been quite lovely so I thought I’d share! Pretty normal to say the least but unusually happy!😆

00100dportrait_00100_burst20190331145145126_cover-1

As you all know, I’m quite the Poppy lover! Well I woke on Saturday to find an entire field had burst into bloom RIGHT NEXT TO MY HOME(like a 30 second walk!) So my daughter and I took a little skip, hop, and leap over there to really soak this Orange flower extravaganza up! Here are a few photos!

 

Since having my son I have totally neglected my yard (our back garden- as my daughter would say!) So today, while I was feelin’ extra productive, I decided to weed it! My way of apologizing for the neglect was to put on my gloves and pick her out by hand!! I feel like I made a pretty good dent until my children just couldn’t bear my absence any longer! Here is a little photo progress. The “pretty” side is what I just finished. The “weedy” (lol) side is how it looked before (but on the other side)..in other words..it’s what I have left!

img_20190331_161946

img_20190331_162023-1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not too shabby right!??

ON A GOOD NOTE FROM MY POOR YARD NEGLECTING..MY ROSES ARE BLOOMIN’ TEN-FOLD!

 

Also we have some beautiful butterflies still passing through but I couldn’t get a video good enough to share with you all!! 😭 So sorry!

Anyway, it was a nice relaxing few days.. Kind of a pointless entry so I do apologize!

I will say though when your Sunday evening starts with a smile and deep stare like this one, the week is bound to be good!

mvimg_20190331_100857

❤There are glitches it time when everything just…pauses.❤

Thank you for stopping by you guys!! I hope you all have a mentally relaxing but super productive week! Happy Blogging!❤❤✌✨

-Steph✨

✨Come to my church✨

Disclaimer: This post is not meant to offend ANYONE. I simply blog my thoughts created from my personal experiences. I speak on behalf of no one other than myself.

There’s a place that I go
To congregate
Outside of confinement
Outside of faith
I walk there with brilliance, delicacy, and delight.
It’s warming to escape here
No need for “the son’s light”.

I walk here, I linger
in a realm of not-knowing,
But knowing, that “worshiping thing”
in itself seems unholy.
How unusual,
arrogant,
a narcissist
to foresee,
telling a group of people,
“YOU’RE HERE BECAUSE OF ME!!”
What’s even more crazy,
when ya think about it,
this “God” never said it,
but a few writers did.

So easy to sell,
these MEN made it seem,
Although their books of repetition
are contradicting.
From animals, to events, to even the geography.
(let’s hope Noah had food for 17 million animals to feed!)
This book calls for worship,
a nearsighted insight.
Would it surprise you to know
I’ve read it front to back TWICE!

I guess they were unaware,
we’d have access to such facts,
That intellect alone
tells us that this book is a hack.
A simple explanation
with a way to control.
Live by this scripture
To follow this roll.
I think, what if we all took
Shakespeare to be literal..
Killin ourselves off,
when love finds less formidable.
Romeo and Juliet? It’s a fictional tale you say?
But to believe our Earth was created WITH LIFE, in only 6 quick days!?(rested on 7th,I know)

Honestly,
with the time it’s taken,
From an insane blast from space,
to this world of relation.
So much more immaculate
than “the good book” makes it seem.
(Actually I refer to it as “the Sacred Organized Scheme.”)

So Faith is what it leans upon,
forever the only move.
But there is no way,
won’t settle for that,
My mind simply will not approve.
Believing science holds no facts,
when it’s the opposite,
AND WE’RE THE PROOF!

Mental abuse,
for myself it was,
to believe my worth was valued
by a “man’s son’s blood.”
EVERYTHING of good
comes from Him,
only what’s bad
comes from MY within.

What kind of perspective?
No wonder there’s judgement!
No wonder I was depressed at age 12 with this covenant.
I say this because
in passing I overheard,
“Without religion it’s impossible to be humble and whole.”
So indeed, to ANYONE, I mean not to offend,
but I’m a far better person
removed from religions torment.

My heart is my whole, sought after, self-taught, in myself I’ll believe, but a follower, I’m not.

See now I’m studying this book at a different kind of church.
It teaches about self-seeking,
And your “non-religious” worth.
I’d thank those who gossip, who
believe I’ve wandered, “I’ve lost sight.”

I invite them to this church called Acceptance to study
this book called Life.

Thank you so much for stopping by you guys!! I hope you all have an insanely phenomenal weekend!!♥️✌️

Photos uploaded from Google.

Liebster Award Nomination!

I’m so grateful and excited to tell you all, I have been nominated for the “Liebster Award” by fellow blogger Huguetta! Thank you so much sweet Huguetta! I’m appreciative for this nomination because I started this blog to connect with individuals who love to read and write like myself. Huguetta’s blog is one that I consider to be a Lifestyle blog, thus being inspirational, motivational and encouraging.  She offers her perspective on different ways to maintain a positive outlook, as well as ways to maintain a healthy, disciplined, and productive mind frame and lifestyle. You can find her lovely blog here! https://huguetta.wordpress.com/

Huguetta is always updating and interacting with her followers and has a beautiful way of presenting helpful information that YOU will find beneficial. Check her out and Huguetta,

thank upthanfl

What is the Liebster Prize?

The Liebster Prize is an award that exists only on the Internet and is awarded to bloggers by other bloggers. The first case of the award goes back to 2011. Liebster in German means sweet, kind, dear, charming, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing and welcome. It really is an excellent way to meet other bloggers and gain more visibility in the community.

There are some simple rules to follow:
Add a link to the Official Liebster Award page in your blog post the Global aussie: https://theglobalaussie.com/

Rules:

  • Thank the blogger that nominated you and give a link to their site.
  • Do a post to show your award. Answer the questions given to you.
  • Nominate 5 bloggers or more.
  • Create more questions for your nominees to answer.
  • Let each nominee know you’ve nominated them and give a link to your post.

 

Questions Asked by Huguetta and my weirdly but hopefully respective responses! 😃 

  1. Can you recall a moment that took your breath away? Describe it.

Two different times, when I first held my daughter, and when I first held my son. Truly took my breath away. I was in such awe. How did I create these tiny creatures! haha The doctor had to tell me “Steph, Breathe!!” I’d provide picture but, a little too graphic!

2. Would you marry a person from a different religion?

Yes and I did. I’ve actually heard someone say, “She believes the way she does because her husband.” Well they are kind of right and I’m not ashamed to say it. Religion caused me to be very judgmental. I felt as though I was more humble than others, it caused me believe my beliefs were the only right beliefs, made me believe as a woman I needed to be submissive… My husband came in and WOKE. ME. UP. I’m so grateful my life partner fell in love with me for other reasons than my religion. I can’t imagine where I’d be had we never met. Ugh, I cringe! He didn’t lead me to a new religion, he led me out of religion and that is what I needed most. Also, this is simply my personal experience, I do not speak for everyone.

3.What makes you smile instantly?

Getting nominated for a bloggers award! 😜😜 Also, when my husband gives me random kisses, BEER, AND every time my daughter sees the trash truck!

 

 

 

 

4. You have a gun and murder is not a crime at all, whom would you kill?

ANYONE who has or would hurt a child. (Watch ya back fools, legal or not.🤨😑)

5. You woke up and you’re 5 years old again but you remember your entire life you already lived, how would you act? What would you change?

I would focus more on my education in order to become financially independent early in life. I would’ve have also made an effort to find friends that cared about my well-being rather than boyfriends.

6.What’s your best quality and worst trait?

My best quality would be my heart. I’m a hopeless romantic, I care so deeply for those less fortunate than myself, I never ever want anyone to endure hardships alone..everyone needs someone. it’s that simple. My worst trait would be my inability to not care about opinions. No matter what I tell myself, it seems i’m always worried about how others percieve me. I’m working on it!

NOW: My 6 Questions for my nominated bloggers.

  1. If you could choose between experiencing the birth of a star or Time Travel, which would you choose?
  2. Where does your creativity thrive best? (Example: City, forest, Suburban? Outside with wine? Inside by the fire with coffee? Next to water?, etc.)
  3. If you could choose any movie character to reenact  in a remake of a film/movie/T.V. show, who would you choose and why?
  4. If you could go back to a certain moment in your life, what moment would you choose?
  5. If you were chosen to colonize Mars without knowing if you’d ever return to earth, would you go?
  6. This one is for humor-  WHAT’S YOUR TYPE- (You have to choose!!😆😆😆)
    • A life size painting of YOURSELF?
    • A Bronze bust of YOU??!
    • A life size marble statue?!

Since the Liebster award stands for sweet, kind, dear, charming, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing and welcoming, the bloggers I chose will have a notification from me, if you choose to participate I’ll post your link!

 

Again thank you Huguetta, I’m so grateful that you chose my blog! You have boosted my confidence like no other!

communitycommunity2

Also, you guys feel free to answer my questions in the comments!! I’d love to know your answer to number 6 especially!!🤣🤣

 

 

 

 

 

Back roads

In a nowhere town,
In an anywhere state,
There’s a small group of people,
That live tamed by faith.
It’s a comfortable place,
And I knew it from the start,
If you didn’t fight it early,
There’s no way you would depart.

It has a way of trickery,
Like it offers the Divine’s best,
Towns slogan should read-
“Believe like us and be blessed.”

Now I didn’t buy it,
had some serious doubts,
so while I’d reside there,
well I’d keep to myself.

The outsides of the town,
on the east and west,
were connected by dark hollows.
Forests thick with distress.

Weaving through the trees,
a cracked and shattered dirt road.
Shadowed by half leaves,
barely hanging above.

These roads were a perimeter.
They circled the town.
But forked off to the Ozarks,
and ended at the Dam.

Almost buried in the woods,
Once paved, now eroding, 
these roads were nestled next to my home,
on crescent drive where we lived cozy.
I found myself grateful,
for without them I’d implode.
Every morning and night I found myself
ridin’ those back roads.

Now don’t get me wrong,
I had plenty of friends,
Worked 2 jobs, traveled,
attended classes in college.
But it didn’t matter,
at this time in my life,
I needed those back roads
to escape out of sight.

And don’t judge me on this
but a few different times
I’d roll one up and cruise those hollows past midnight.

Questions were answered.
Tears were cried.
These back roads filled a void.
Therapy on a drive.

Windows half down,
music trailing in the wind,
knowing all too soon this will be a “remember when.”
I’d warm my coffee,
bundle up tight,
Grab a lighter, start the car,
to that foggy mountainside.
Hands on wheel,
Isolated because I chose,
tires rolling, burnin’ slow on

 those broken back roads.
Ten years later,
thinkin’ back to those meadows,
That would swallow a town whole
if it wasn’t for the river.

Because I write this from California,
still in my own small shell.
Now aching for those Bethel back roads

that know me all too well.

 

 

 

Happy National Down Syndrome Day to my little sister!♥️♥️♥️

They say she is flawed
She says perfect ain’t a thing.
They say her brain works different
She says it’s boring to be sane.
They say she’s slower
She says we work at our own pace
They say she’s incapable
So she’ll try harder each day.
They said “It’s unlikely”
that she’d ever graduate.
Then they watched her wave as she walked across the stage.
She told me she was different
I told her stake your claim,
we’re all fighting to be different
My Sydney,

you were born that way.

img957316

Dedicated to my beautiful sweet Sydney, my little sister. She has taught me more than life itself. I’m overwhelmed with gratitude to wear the title of “Syd’s big sis!” You make your big sisters so so proud and we hope we do the same! I can’t imagine a life without your big smile and bear hugs. ❤❤😘

Love you Syd Vicious!!

Love my Syd Vicious hugs!
Honorary Bridesmaid!

My big sister and my little sister. lol We have a good time together!
Goofin’ with my girl!

 

her

 

Feature photo from google.

i am me

Sometimes I feel translucent
Because sometimes I “grin and bear it”
Sometimes I feel translucent
because I’m not transparent.

Sometimes I feel vulnerable
because sometimes I might be soft
Sometimes I feel vulnerable
but I’m not one to write-off.

Sometimes I feel defensive
Because sometimes discipline I lack
Sometimes I feel defensive
Because for others, I’ll fight back.

Sometimes I feel tired
Because I give it all I’ve got
Sometimes I feel tired
Because past battles that I’ve fought.

Sometimes I feel broken
Because I keep asking questions
Sometimes I feel broken
But it’s not from repression.

Sometimes I feel melancholy
Because sometimes I fight depression
Sometimes I feel melancholy
Because my own introspection.

Sometimes I feel sexual
Because my body takes control
Sometimes I feel sexual
Because my mind lets go.

Sometimes I feel bold
because my heart loves life hard
Sometimes I feel bold
Because I won’t live on guard.

Sometimes I feel strong
Because I don’t give in easily
Sometimes I feel strong
Because it’s truth that I seek fierce fully.

Sometimes I feel beautiful
Because this scarred body I see
Sometimes I feel beautiful
because only I am me.

 

me
Thanks for stopping by you guys! Hope everyone is having a wonderful week! ❤✌

Feature photo uploaded from google.

A Cosmic Love Story

Watch her
Like fireflies
Disperse within
The ether
Frequencies of
Electric blue
Dance like waves
Beneath her
She drifts out to the celestial poles
Hitting cold at absolute zero
Created by the
Extra galactic
And a special kind of Biro.
Lost away she wants to stay
Among the constellations
She’s safe there
In the midnight air
Terrestrial no relation
If you can breech earth’s tidal force
Escape velocity
She’ll be your guide to the vibrant star cluster
Lift the weight of gravity.
With a moonlit face
And needles and lace
She sews a trail out of stars
Through wormholes and cosmos
You follow behind her
Dark matter the path that it carves
Follow the channel
Illumination so soft
Make it to the dimensions edge?
Now grab her hand

Jump off!!!

Collide with her and levitate
through the floating gas bubbles

bubbles_in_space
Kiss amidst the Nebulas
extravagant colors,
Merge fingertips
Ignite gamma rays.
Spin exotically within this electrical blaze.
We’ll spoon together cozy
In the crescent of the moon
Watch accretion till a Supernova blooms

galaxy 1
Together we’ll spin in retrograde motion,
Shrink in singularity of a black hole.
Dance on the planum of an event horizon,
Aurora Borealis steal the show.
But when the moon grows tired
And sets lower in the tide
She’ll banish you back
Beneath the ether
As she lingers in the sky
You’ll ache for her embrace
Within her realm of starry nights
And jaded, you’ll watch her dance
Above the zodiacal lights.

yousky

Thanks for stopping by you guys!! Hope you are all having a wonderful weekend!❤✨

img_20190311_1241123280498964141732499.jpg

Feature photos from google.

A kaleidoscope of butterflies passing through my yard!

Painted Lady Butterflies

Hey guys!! Quick post here! Due to all the rain we’ve been getting here in southern California, we are getting Poppy flowers popping up out the wazoo!! We live about a mile south of one of the biggest (natural) flower fields that has recently bloomed and today a kaleidoscope of extravagantly colored Painted Lady Butterflies passed through my backyard migrating there!! They were so beautiful and whimsical in their rhythm as they flew among one another. Almost like a dance! I know the big dirt hill in the background isn’t the best backdrop BUT it’s the only place I could get them to really show up!(sorry for the toddler toys strewn about!) I’ve never seen a swarm of butterflies before and the footage isn’t all that great BUT I had to share with you all!! Thanks for stopping by!

 

Have a wonderful day you guys!!

Last years Poppy field by the house!

image000000_13_01

img_20190124_201832_01_01

 

img_20190311_1241123280498964141732499.jpg